“I am delighted to be here as your Pen Friend of a Friend today.”
That made me smile.
“We also developed the classic flatmate OneBrain, in the sense that my accent took on a distinct London twang in certain lights and Hannah once told me she sometimes thought in an Irish accent.”
OneBrain…you named the morphing of two into one, as roommates.
“...the concepts of road frontage (something I as a Dublin native had to be taught in turn; whether or not your land is accessible by public road, and how it relates to your appeal as a potential romantic match)”
OMG…road-frontage being important to Irish match-making?! Who knew?? I need an explanation…in the States, on ladies night in a bar, “road-frontage” would refer crudely to bust size.
“The beauty of Hiberno-English is in the subtext, the unsaid. It has its origins in the Irish language – put simply, we took some of the inflections and cadences of Irish and wedged them in to our new spoken language.”
The term “Hiberno-English” conjures up the phrases that I was introduced to while watching Derry Girls, Frank of Ireland, Bridget and Eamon and old movies like 1935’s, The Informer, the movie with one of my all-time favourite actors, Victor McLaglen (he won the Academy Award for his performance)...note how I spelled “favourite,” as a tip-o-the-hat to Hiberno English.
“ The point is that the meaning is in the sigh, the roll of the eyes, the intake or exhaling of a breath.”
That's true comity.
“Paris is a city which is happening whether you are there or not, she does not necessarily care that you feel welcome or unwelcome.”
I agree, Paris has a unique relationship to the world; similar to the relationship between the earth and the Moon. They exist for us to behold.
“I suppose I’m trying to take a similar approach to visiting Paris while living in Dublin - being there is like visiting a lovely old self, and coming home is being known again.”
I’m feeling much envy; in the States, we’re not tethered to the culture and feeling of being raised in a true culture in a country. We’re packs of mongrels chasing our tails in pursuit of accumulating “things,” not a feeling of belonging. The sad realization this 71 year old has reached is that racism is the true culture of the U.S.A.
BUT YOUR LETTER IS PURE JOY!! So I prefer to reflect on joy. I will investigate the 2 books that you recommend. The sketches are pure joy, as usual.
*Road frontage means that you have a plot of land. Basically means your marriage material. You have a plot of land that. suitable to build a nice house on. Uh, usually because it's beside a road.Feb 16, 2024
As a frequent Pen Friend reader myself I am thrilled to have a JudgeRoyBean response!
What you say about being in the US is so interesting; I’m reflecting on the idea of culture in a country which is really so new. I think there’s a lot to be said about the national psyche in Ireland as a formerly colonised country with a storied ancient past. In a way, we are a young republic too, and in some ways still figuring out Modern Ireland (worth reading Fintan O’Toole also if anyone is interested in more on this!). Not escaping the culture of racism either I’m afraid, though it’s a longer conversation for another day.
I agree, we should reflect on joy! Thank you again for such thoughtful reading, and do please look out Manchan Magan. His approach to the experience of just being in the world is very interesting.
I'm thrilled that you read my response and commented so courteously!
My real last name is "Dundee," though I'm not Scottish (my wife is Irish on her mother's side)
The sad fact of being an American is forced assimilation; Italians in the late 19th and early 20th century were lynched and the prejudice was fearsome. In order to just get a foot in the door to get a job my grandparents changed the family name from the beautiful "Donadio" to what I refer to as my slave name, "Dundee."
I truly enjoyed reading this piece and restacked it with a wee intro of my own.
The importance of the language component (often underestimated by expats around the world in my opinion) can only help so much.
Paris is a big city and can be hard to crack for all newcomers including French natives.
I know her well having lived there on and off for over 15 years at different stages of my life.
Interestingly I chose to step away from it when I relocated to my homeland after 23 years stateside and have happily settled down in the Loire Valley since.
In the end, your heart tells you where “home” really is if you listen.
You and I did. A wonderful feeling (most days at least) isn’t it?
I’ve been in Paris twelve years (as of this month!) and I still can’t say I’ve achieved being fully understood in French - not least because Parisians in particular are always so quick to point out an accent. A major hurdle I managed to overcome was being able to quip in French so at least I could feel more like myself, albeit a much goofier version.
I envy and applaud your ability to quip! Also have lots of thoughts on speaking with an accent — very few French people attempting an accent in English and nobody bats a lid! I worked for a woman once who spoke perfect French in a full south Dublin accent. She had had to learn French quickly when she moved to Paris and immediately married a French man and had French children. It always seemed like she just didn’t have time to worry about sounding any kind of way, which I have always found deeeply chic.
Thank you for all of the lovely insights in this letter, Ellen. What a joy it was to read.
"Paris is a city which is happening whether you are there or not, she does not necessarily care that you feel welcome or unwelcome." How this resonated with me! I think this is the reason why I don't feel fully comfortable saying that I love Paris, because she can't be tied down and she definitely won't say it back to you.
I've called Paris home for 15 years and I don't think I have yet reached the "deeply understood level". Some days, I let it all go over my head (it's not a big deal, it's just a part of living in a foreign country and speaking a second language.) Other days it can be frustrating to not be able to express myself as explicitly as I'd like to. Or, I can sometimes be stunned into silence in French, something that rarely happens to me in English!
I really enjoyed this. I think we met briefly in your joint flat and I got a sense of the cosy set up! Having been living in Sweden 5 years I’m having similar debates with myself about scenery and quality of life vs people and feeling more at home/known, so it was interesting to hear your thoughts, thank you. Also Ireland sounds amazing and I might just move there instead 😂
“I am delighted to be here as your Pen Friend of a Friend today.”
That made me smile.
“We also developed the classic flatmate OneBrain, in the sense that my accent took on a distinct London twang in certain lights and Hannah once told me she sometimes thought in an Irish accent.”
OneBrain…you named the morphing of two into one, as roommates.
“...the concepts of road frontage (something I as a Dublin native had to be taught in turn; whether or not your land is accessible by public road, and how it relates to your appeal as a potential romantic match)”
OMG…road-frontage being important to Irish match-making?! Who knew?? I need an explanation…in the States, on ladies night in a bar, “road-frontage” would refer crudely to bust size.
“The beauty of Hiberno-English is in the subtext, the unsaid. It has its origins in the Irish language – put simply, we took some of the inflections and cadences of Irish and wedged them in to our new spoken language.”
The term “Hiberno-English” conjures up the phrases that I was introduced to while watching Derry Girls, Frank of Ireland, Bridget and Eamon and old movies like 1935’s, The Informer, the movie with one of my all-time favourite actors, Victor McLaglen (he won the Academy Award for his performance)...note how I spelled “favourite,” as a tip-o-the-hat to Hiberno English.
“ The point is that the meaning is in the sigh, the roll of the eyes, the intake or exhaling of a breath.”
That's true comity.
“Paris is a city which is happening whether you are there or not, she does not necessarily care that you feel welcome or unwelcome.”
I agree, Paris has a unique relationship to the world; similar to the relationship between the earth and the Moon. They exist for us to behold.
“I suppose I’m trying to take a similar approach to visiting Paris while living in Dublin - being there is like visiting a lovely old self, and coming home is being known again.”
I’m feeling much envy; in the States, we’re not tethered to the culture and feeling of being raised in a true culture in a country. We’re packs of mongrels chasing our tails in pursuit of accumulating “things,” not a feeling of belonging. The sad realization this 71 year old has reached is that racism is the true culture of the U.S.A.
BUT YOUR LETTER IS PURE JOY!! So I prefer to reflect on joy. I will investigate the 2 books that you recommend. The sketches are pure joy, as usual.
*Road frontage means that you have a plot of land. Basically means your marriage material. You have a plot of land that. suitable to build a nice house on. Uh, usually because it's beside a road.Feb 16, 2024
As a frequent Pen Friend reader myself I am thrilled to have a JudgeRoyBean response!
What you say about being in the US is so interesting; I’m reflecting on the idea of culture in a country which is really so new. I think there’s a lot to be said about the national psyche in Ireland as a formerly colonised country with a storied ancient past. In a way, we are a young republic too, and in some ways still figuring out Modern Ireland (worth reading Fintan O’Toole also if anyone is interested in more on this!). Not escaping the culture of racism either I’m afraid, though it’s a longer conversation for another day.
I agree, we should reflect on joy! Thank you again for such thoughtful reading, and do please look out Manchan Magan. His approach to the experience of just being in the world is very interesting.
I'm thrilled that you read my response and commented so courteously!
My real last name is "Dundee," though I'm not Scottish (my wife is Irish on her mother's side)
The sad fact of being an American is forced assimilation; Italians in the late 19th and early 20th century were lynched and the prejudice was fearsome. In order to just get a foot in the door to get a job my grandparents changed the family name from the beautiful "Donadio" to what I refer to as my slave name, "Dundee."
Luckily mom was French, "Cottie."
Bonjour Ellen. Enchantée.
I truly enjoyed reading this piece and restacked it with a wee intro of my own.
The importance of the language component (often underestimated by expats around the world in my opinion) can only help so much.
Paris is a big city and can be hard to crack for all newcomers including French natives.
I know her well having lived there on and off for over 15 years at different stages of my life.
Interestingly I chose to step away from it when I relocated to my homeland after 23 years stateside and have happily settled down in the Loire Valley since.
In the end, your heart tells you where “home” really is if you listen.
You and I did. A wonderful feeling (most days at least) isn’t it?
I’ve been in Paris twelve years (as of this month!) and I still can’t say I’ve achieved being fully understood in French - not least because Parisians in particular are always so quick to point out an accent. A major hurdle I managed to overcome was being able to quip in French so at least I could feel more like myself, albeit a much goofier version.
I envy and applaud your ability to quip! Also have lots of thoughts on speaking with an accent — very few French people attempting an accent in English and nobody bats a lid! I worked for a woman once who spoke perfect French in a full south Dublin accent. She had had to learn French quickly when she moved to Paris and immediately married a French man and had French children. It always seemed like she just didn’t have time to worry about sounding any kind of way, which I have always found deeeply chic.
Thank you for all of the lovely insights in this letter, Ellen. What a joy it was to read.
"Paris is a city which is happening whether you are there or not, she does not necessarily care that you feel welcome or unwelcome." How this resonated with me! I think this is the reason why I don't feel fully comfortable saying that I love Paris, because she can't be tied down and she definitely won't say it back to you.
I've called Paris home for 15 years and I don't think I have yet reached the "deeply understood level". Some days, I let it all go over my head (it's not a big deal, it's just a part of living in a foreign country and speaking a second language.) Other days it can be frustrating to not be able to express myself as explicitly as I'd like to. Or, I can sometimes be stunned into silence in French, something that rarely happens to me in English!
I really enjoyed this. I think we met briefly in your joint flat and I got a sense of the cosy set up! Having been living in Sweden 5 years I’m having similar debates with myself about scenery and quality of life vs people and feeling more at home/known, so it was interesting to hear your thoughts, thank you. Also Ireland sounds amazing and I might just move there instead 😂