I’m a 70 year old man, with two sons under 30 who I attempt to enlighten to the bias against women in society (not that I know so much, myself); I look back at my career and the cringe-worthy, male-dominated “workplace,” where, for the majority of my 44 year career, I observed that all but the most secure and forthright woman was subject repeatedly to misogyny of one type or another. I do not hold myself blameless in that regard, but I wised up fairly soon, for a man. The John Berger quote should be tattooed across every man’s forehead so that he is reminded of the quote daily. And in 2023 the coed gym is the Luddite-Caveman stronghold for male rudeness. I never had daughters, but if I did, I would advise them to marry another woman, if they find marriage/partner necessary for their happiness.
I love this- have also been thinking a lot about inclusive and exclusive spaces as well as Kate Raworths ideas. I never fail to leave the gym huffing and puffing about how some men take liberties or make loud grunting noises when then lift weights and just generally how they use the space makes me feel like I don’t belong there with my small weights and girly weak arms. But then I discovered the women’s gym areas they have in Sweden- a smaller room with access by card only for women - and it’s a calm and much more relaxing environment as you can imagine. So I head straight for those when I can! Also I love your illustrations beyond words and your brain is a delight. I always enjoy reading your musings.
Hannah, that picture of the window opposite is one of my favourite paintings of yours! It's so striking. The colours, the positioning, the vibrancy. Beautiful.
This was a powerful post, and once again I come away having learnt something new about France and the French language. The whole elles to ils ... oof. I never knew this.
Your gym setup sounds pretty bad. Even as a male I would hate to be on view underneath a ring of people training above looking down at me. My local gym has the women's changing room closest to the entrance and they also have an optional women-only training area with frosted windows. I think that's a really good thing, but it also deeply saddens me that in 2023 such a thing is even necessary.
I'm glad you stuck up for yourself and told the man you were deliberately pedalling backwards. Good for you. I hope he felt stupid afterwards.
This is not at all the same, but I thought I'd share it anyway: I do a lot of indoor bouldering here in Melbourne (many gyms have sprung up over the last few years and it's v popular now) and my regular climbing gym has a policy of "no beta spraying", meaning you cannot just go up to someone and tell them how they should be "solving" the boulder problem in terms of technique/moves etc (i.e. the "beta"). It's considered extremely bad etiquette because a lot of the joy of bouldering is in the solving. The other day, me and a few friends were trying out a particularly tricky problem and experimenting with different ways to approach it when a guy came up to us and said "why are you doing it that way? That's not how to do it. You should be doing this" [proceeds to tell us how to do it]. I don't think my response to him was overly polite, but he got the point!
Final PS: sounds like Paris is becoming Melbourne with its wild turns of weather. We're famous here for being able to have four seasons in a single day, especially in "summer".
Sharing this! I remember learning Spanish in school (which does the same elles-become-ils if there is one man thing) and feeling odd about it. We were in an all girls environment so it was perhaps unusual how much we were able to say ‘ellas practican el deporte’ or something.
Ps meant to say Hannah, " Spare" was an hysterically funny joy ride of nonsense in my opinion.
I did , however sympathise somewhat with the appalling treatment of Harry's wife most especially by the English press.
Again, mysoginy and outright racism tainted wherever the truth truly lies.
Trial by gossip and cruelty in the press is ruthless and powerful. I long for a time when this purile immature snide and pretty nasty way of communication is toned down to actual news.
Look forward very much to next week from Your thoughts ,
Always a delight to read as I say every week, Darling Hannah.
Great too to see a subtle yet powerful shift in the comments this week from Men themselves.
By that I mean , rather than being defensive or dimissive of a woman( you in this instance) and her experiences,The men here on substack seem to really be looking at the way in which women are percieved and treated generally but more especially in " Mens" traditional areas like the Gym.
As a 65 year old, one of the comments I loathe is " Oh, you look great for a woman your age"
Lololol what are women my age suposed to look like? Hideous toothless crones , bent and crooked as is far too many fairytales? Old style Nans sitting on the porch benignly crocheting some unwanted baby clothing? ( never in blue or pink 😂) having said that I actually do sit on my porch and crochet so that doesnt hold a lot of water!
Its the ajectives, " Old" and " Woman" suggesting really that to loose ones sexy and alluring youthful appeal is the bitter end for a female?
And the comment is meant so much a sweet compliment I havent the heart to be churlish so accept
It with grace.
Being, your friend Kate's mother... I pity the poor sap who tried to bully her from her machine at the Gym. Hannah... did you actually realise that you were cycling backwards ? I mean it woukd take a young whipper snapper of a bloke to mansplain the obvious ! Hysterical!
Beautiful writing and fabulous watercoulours this week.
French will be a total nightmare to unravel and relearn in our modern ageand the hooefully upcoming inclusion as equals of women and girls within its highly Patriarchal evolution.
A lot of new words will need to be invented!
Awwwr Babette! Hopefully see you both on my brief visit to your spectacular City next week.
Which you bring so wonderfully to life with your observations and intimate knowledge.
I'm so happy Nathan Slake (in comments here) suggested I read your newsletter on my last post (on a Parisian cafe). Despite the problems here about dominant maleness in space, this is a beautiful reflection. I also love the artwork. I often think of 'spaces and places' as a topic of both my research and fiction. Especially in Paris, these movements between and within and through change everything. There is so much care taken to spaces and so much history as well. I think also of Benjamin's Arcades Project. Looking forward to more of your writing.
Jun 11, 2023·edited Jun 12, 2023Liked by Hannah Meltzer
“What it means to be partly Jewish is perhaps even more diffuse and difficult to pin down.”
On the matter of Jewishness: After years of wandering in the wilderness, trying to get a definitive diagnosis for the neuromuscular disease, revealed late in life, that affects my gait, balance and my ability to walk/run, which physicians, from neurologists, orthopods and sports-medicine specialists, categorized as “upper-motor neuron disease,” I stumbled upon the genetic markers for Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia, a rare disease, which fit my symptoms.**
A geneticist advised that it would cost me less than $200 to confirm by purchasing 23&ME from Amazon, rather than paying him $5000. I spit in a tube, mailed it off and 6 weeks later, sure enough my diagnosis was confirmed.
**No pity please as I am coping quite well, hitting a heavy bag (punching) for exercise, which is the only treatment; it strengthens the muscles in my legs that remain unaffected and improves my balance…I’m definitely disabled or handicapped, but it could be worse and I can punch with more force than when I was 21!
A LONG WAY TO GET TO THE POINT…but 23&ME also revealed that I was 0.5% Ashkenazi Jew…so as they say, in for a penny, in for a pound! The test also said I am 0.5 % Egyptian; so, when I get indigestion, I blame those two genes for causing it; as Rodney King said, “Why can’t we just get along?” I’m 0.5% Jewish so that makes me a JEW! As they did during Jim Crow, in the States, the “one-drop” of Black blood designation labeled a person Black, even though the White slave owner was decidedly the Father. If the MAGA crowd in the States tries to load me onto a boxcar, they better be ready to get knocked-out by an overhand right or a left hook; and to be embarrassed that it came from a 70 year old man!!
I’m a 70 year old man, with two sons under 30 who I attempt to enlighten to the bias against women in society (not that I know so much, myself); I look back at my career and the cringe-worthy, male-dominated “workplace,” where, for the majority of my 44 year career, I observed that all but the most secure and forthright woman was subject repeatedly to misogyny of one type or another. I do not hold myself blameless in that regard, but I wised up fairly soon, for a man. The John Berger quote should be tattooed across every man’s forehead so that he is reminded of the quote daily. And in 2023 the coed gym is the Luddite-Caveman stronghold for male rudeness. I never had daughters, but if I did, I would advise them to marry another woman, if they find marriage/partner necessary for their happiness.
I love this- have also been thinking a lot about inclusive and exclusive spaces as well as Kate Raworths ideas. I never fail to leave the gym huffing and puffing about how some men take liberties or make loud grunting noises when then lift weights and just generally how they use the space makes me feel like I don’t belong there with my small weights and girly weak arms. But then I discovered the women’s gym areas they have in Sweden- a smaller room with access by card only for women - and it’s a calm and much more relaxing environment as you can imagine. So I head straight for those when I can! Also I love your illustrations beyond words and your brain is a delight. I always enjoy reading your musings.
Hannah, that picture of the window opposite is one of my favourite paintings of yours! It's so striking. The colours, the positioning, the vibrancy. Beautiful.
This was a powerful post, and once again I come away having learnt something new about France and the French language. The whole elles to ils ... oof. I never knew this.
Your gym setup sounds pretty bad. Even as a male I would hate to be on view underneath a ring of people training above looking down at me. My local gym has the women's changing room closest to the entrance and they also have an optional women-only training area with frosted windows. I think that's a really good thing, but it also deeply saddens me that in 2023 such a thing is even necessary.
I'm glad you stuck up for yourself and told the man you were deliberately pedalling backwards. Good for you. I hope he felt stupid afterwards.
This is not at all the same, but I thought I'd share it anyway: I do a lot of indoor bouldering here in Melbourne (many gyms have sprung up over the last few years and it's v popular now) and my regular climbing gym has a policy of "no beta spraying", meaning you cannot just go up to someone and tell them how they should be "solving" the boulder problem in terms of technique/moves etc (i.e. the "beta"). It's considered extremely bad etiquette because a lot of the joy of bouldering is in the solving. The other day, me and a few friends were trying out a particularly tricky problem and experimenting with different ways to approach it when a guy came up to us and said "why are you doing it that way? That's not how to do it. You should be doing this" [proceeds to tell us how to do it]. I don't think my response to him was overly polite, but he got the point!
Final PS: sounds like Paris is becoming Melbourne with its wild turns of weather. We're famous here for being able to have four seasons in a single day, especially in "summer".
I am choked but also angry and tired while reading these men’s reactions while mensplaining you and your friend how to use machine and live your life.
The question is if this would have been a man , their reaction would have been the same? Correcting him thinking is not doing the right thing.
Anyway, I also have the strange feeling when I’m walking in an area in Paris or anywhere , where there are no women at all...
Sharing this! I remember learning Spanish in school (which does the same elles-become-ils if there is one man thing) and feeling odd about it. We were in an all girls environment so it was perhaps unusual how much we were able to say ‘ellas practican el deporte’ or something.
Ps meant to say Hannah, " Spare" was an hysterically funny joy ride of nonsense in my opinion.
I did , however sympathise somewhat with the appalling treatment of Harry's wife most especially by the English press.
Again, mysoginy and outright racism tainted wherever the truth truly lies.
Trial by gossip and cruelty in the press is ruthless and powerful. I long for a time when this purile immature snide and pretty nasty way of communication is toned down to actual news.
Look forward very much to next week from Your thoughts ,
Always a delight to read as I say every week, Darling Hannah.
Great too to see a subtle yet powerful shift in the comments this week from Men themselves.
By that I mean , rather than being defensive or dimissive of a woman( you in this instance) and her experiences,The men here on substack seem to really be looking at the way in which women are percieved and treated generally but more especially in " Mens" traditional areas like the Gym.
As a 65 year old, one of the comments I loathe is " Oh, you look great for a woman your age"
Lololol what are women my age suposed to look like? Hideous toothless crones , bent and crooked as is far too many fairytales? Old style Nans sitting on the porch benignly crocheting some unwanted baby clothing? ( never in blue or pink 😂) having said that I actually do sit on my porch and crochet so that doesnt hold a lot of water!
Its the ajectives, " Old" and " Woman" suggesting really that to loose ones sexy and alluring youthful appeal is the bitter end for a female?
And the comment is meant so much a sweet compliment I havent the heart to be churlish so accept
It with grace.
Being, your friend Kate's mother... I pity the poor sap who tried to bully her from her machine at the Gym. Hannah... did you actually realise that you were cycling backwards ? I mean it woukd take a young whipper snapper of a bloke to mansplain the obvious ! Hysterical!
Beautiful writing and fabulous watercoulours this week.
French will be a total nightmare to unravel and relearn in our modern ageand the hooefully upcoming inclusion as equals of women and girls within its highly Patriarchal evolution.
A lot of new words will need to be invented!
Awwwr Babette! Hopefully see you both on my brief visit to your spectacular City next week.
Which you bring so wonderfully to life with your observations and intimate knowledge.
I'm so happy Nathan Slake (in comments here) suggested I read your newsletter on my last post (on a Parisian cafe). Despite the problems here about dominant maleness in space, this is a beautiful reflection. I also love the artwork. I often think of 'spaces and places' as a topic of both my research and fiction. Especially in Paris, these movements between and within and through change everything. There is so much care taken to spaces and so much history as well. I think also of Benjamin's Arcades Project. Looking forward to more of your writing.
“The window of the apartment opposite” is simply a wonderful painting. I think it should be the title of a play.
“What it means to be partly Jewish is perhaps even more diffuse and difficult to pin down.”
On the matter of Jewishness: After years of wandering in the wilderness, trying to get a definitive diagnosis for the neuromuscular disease, revealed late in life, that affects my gait, balance and my ability to walk/run, which physicians, from neurologists, orthopods and sports-medicine specialists, categorized as “upper-motor neuron disease,” I stumbled upon the genetic markers for Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia, a rare disease, which fit my symptoms.**
A geneticist advised that it would cost me less than $200 to confirm by purchasing 23&ME from Amazon, rather than paying him $5000. I spit in a tube, mailed it off and 6 weeks later, sure enough my diagnosis was confirmed.
**No pity please as I am coping quite well, hitting a heavy bag (punching) for exercise, which is the only treatment; it strengthens the muscles in my legs that remain unaffected and improves my balance…I’m definitely disabled or handicapped, but it could be worse and I can punch with more force than when I was 21!
A LONG WAY TO GET TO THE POINT…but 23&ME also revealed that I was 0.5% Ashkenazi Jew…so as they say, in for a penny, in for a pound! The test also said I am 0.5 % Egyptian; so, when I get indigestion, I blame those two genes for causing it; as Rodney King said, “Why can’t we just get along?” I’m 0.5% Jewish so that makes me a JEW! As they did during Jim Crow, in the States, the “one-drop” of Black blood designation labeled a person Black, even though the White slave owner was decidedly the Father. If the MAGA crowd in the States tries to load me onto a boxcar, they better be ready to get knocked-out by an overhand right or a left hook; and to be embarrassed that it came from a 70 year old man!!